OK, well the husband-advertising isn't going brilliantly. To be honest I'd hoped for at least 50 applications by now.
Instead Cathy has volunteered someone or something called Bigsy, who may smell a bit, someone who may or may not be Hazel has tested the water, depending on whether or not I accept drug addicts and / or cult members, several of you have tried to set me up with Richard Herring, and bafflingly, someone unwilling to share their identity has professed to being an admirer... and yet describes their appendage as small and white.
Been there, done that.
But come on guys, let's work together here! We could a) have a shotgun marriage, ending in almost inevitable divorce, bitterness, and - as per predictions - a couple of kids or b) cause Madam Tamar's decade-old predictions to fail.
I think we need to decide what's important. Applications are still open. Act now!
5 comments:
Hey mate
How about I post you a nice Kiwi for your birthday?
Having been un-ceremoniously ripped from his comfortable surroundings and posted to you, he will have no money, family, job and will probably jump at the chance of having a sugar momma.
I have a good idea where to find one too ;o)You will have to pay for my flight to the North Island though!
Frankly Laura I think you have left this all a bit late. Have you even CHOSEN my bridesmaid dress yet? I thought not.
All these thoughts of men have obviously gone to your head and you've become, dare I say it, disorganised....
MEN.
Hazel... A Kiwi would be the perfect present! I know technically you know where to find him, but I think you'll agree that sense of direction isn't our strong point. Chances are I could end up with the wrong one.
Still, the wrong Kiwi is better than no Kiwi at all...
Hope your birthday was excellent, Hazel.
Anonymous, yip, yip - bridesmaid dresses all chosen. But as I don't know who you are, arranging a fitting might be difficult.
Also, still short of a husband.
Try walking down Whitechapel Road with a large sign saying
"I have a British passport. Will you marry me?"
Is that racist? Surely I can't be. I own Motown CDs.
(I nicked that off Dave Spikey. Maybe he's racist. Goes down much better if you say it with a Northern Accent and a cheeky face. Instead of a Surrey accent and a scowl...)
Enough of racism, and on to more important things... what colour is my bridesmaid dress?
xxx
I thought about the Whitechapel Road thing, but it's raining. I will only go so far in my husband quest.
Dress colour is one of those things that tends to cause a lot of worry... So I'm having them made out of clingfilm. Hope that's OK.
L x
Post a Comment