For those of us who live in London, there is a new sport to be had. Since the arrival of approximately three million new free evening papers, it is now a real achievement to arrive at your tube station or bus stop paperless. Every three feet you are accosted by an out-of-work promotions person, trying to hand you a newspaper, often in quite an aggressive manner. The papers are rubbish. London Lite, Standard Lite, The London Paper - all of them are recycled garbage tidbits about what Paris Hilton might have said to Lindsay Lohan and what sort of handbag will go with next month's earrings.
So, running the paper gauntlet, and your chosen level of politeness ("No thank you", "Sorry", "No", "Fuck off, you paper-toting bastard") is a new London hobby. Once arriving at your tube station of choice, utterly paperless, you may feel smug. You have won. You have run the gauntlet. Well done.
Of course, now you're on the train, you then have to crane your neck as far as it will possibly stretch, so you can read your fellow passenger's copy of London Lite. What was untouchable three minutes previously is now - of course - the most interesting thing ever written in the entire English language - ever. You find yourself actually caring about whether or not Britney's divorce will go through, and mentally curse the person next to you for daring to turn the page of their own paper before you've completely read about the slight tendon sprain of a cricketer you've never heard of.
If someone leaves their free paper on the train, pounce on it! It is yours! You are great! Take it home with you so no-one else can have it!
London is a weird place sometimes.
1 comment:
I wondered if the free papers were a new thing. I traveled around on the tube all over the place during my visit. I am proud to say I achieved high marks in the paper gauntlet! I only accepted a paper once, near the end of my stay, mainly because I wanted to see why everyone was so drawn in to the articles. It turns out, you are right, they are complete tosh! I really hope it's not coming out of your taxes to pay for the service. Although, I do have to say, it kept me entertained reading about celebs I've never heard of! Plus, if people are reading while traving, it stops them from staring you down, or inappropriate grabbing - maybe that was the idea behind the paper madness!!!
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