Beginners' Yoga. Yoga for beginners. How scary could it be? Besides which, it was two minutes' walk from my flat. What a great thing to do with a Saturday morning. OK, I'm pretty unfit. OK, flexibility's not really my thing, but you never know - it could turn out I was brilliant at it.
My first worry started when everyone was told to get a belt from the belt shelf. What on earth would I need a belt for? Tying myself up in strange and twisted shapes, apparently. This was a bit embarrassing.
Not quite as embarrassing, however, as when the yoga tutor asked the group loudly, "Who is on their period today?" As quietly as I possibly could, I raised my hand. So did one other person. "No shoulder stand for you," continued the unabashed tutor. "Tie yourself up with the belt instead."
I am not quite sure why having a period prevents you from doing a shoulder stand. Perhaps if I'd gone to a more advanced class, this would have been explained.
"Do this!" instructed the yoga teacher, just to me, indicating stretching her thumb as close to the wrist as she could. I did what I was told. "I thought so," she said. "You have hyper-extensive joints. This means that you can stretch further than other people, but you will have to use your muscles differently."
"Is that good or bad?" I asked.
"It just is," she replied, somewhat cryptically.
Aren't you all glad that I do these things for you, and write about it in full so that you never have to put yourselves through it? Hmm? Where is my thanks? Give generously.
4 comments:
Isn't yoga all about teaching people how not to fart in public?
If only...
Not turn yourself upside down when you're on your period?!
What a pile of male claptrap.
This has got to originate from some MAN ignorant of the female body, who also thinks that women on ships are bad luck or attract bears or some such nonsense. The same sort of man that regards women on their periods as "impure".
God damn it, that's REALLY annoyed me.
Do they think we might choke on our own blood flow or something?
(Alright, I've looked it up on the internet, and apparently it's to do with the stretch and partial collapse or occlusion of the thin-walled veins in the uterus. I'm still skeptical. I am sure this is just another residue of the subjugation of women because of the traditional misapprehended fragility of the so-called feminine. All this ranting has left me feeling quite faint, I shall I have to retire).
Your line about choking on your own blood flow made me laugh out loud. And then swoon because my corset was too tight.
L x
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