Nightmares

Ooh, did you see The Apprentice last night? Did you, did you? I'm not a big fan of reality TV - no time for Big Brother, Wife Swap, Celebrity Swap, Celebrities who have Brothers and also live on a Love Island - just not my thing.

But The Apprentice I did rather like. At the end of last week's episode, I was cursing the TV execs: "Clearly the two girls are the best candidates, but they're never going to let two girls go to the final. They'll insist it's more balanced. One of each. A gender war."

I think I did a little dance when both the girls got into the final. Thing was, I couldn't decide who I wanted to win. Michelle I really liked because she was unassuming and just got on with stuff, none of that "Look at me" rubbish. And Ruth I liked because she was truthful and direct, and a bit of an underdog.

I won't spoil it for people, but I think I'd have been happy to see either of them win. Which kind of ruins the point of a contest really. I'm such a Libran.

Not sure if it's connected but last night I dreamed I was running a young enterprise company, making rubbish frienship bracelets. I was trying to sell them to a big department store, when suddenly protesters threw bombs through the window and the glass exploded all around me. I had to go to A&E to get shards of glass taken out of my back.

Then later on in the dream, I was in an horrific lift accident with my friend Erica. All I could think was how ironic it was that I'd survived the glass attack (in which several little-known comedians had a sticky end. Not sure what they were doing in John Lewis in the perfume department, but there you go), to meet my untimely demise in a lift. Turns out though, that I survived the lift accident, and had to go and waitress at a garden fete, dressed as a Swiss milkmaid. These things happen.