Chocs away

It is time to reveal Kitchen Story: Part One.

As you will know, from the tedious and drawn-out process over the last few weeks, I have had a new kitchen fitted. And very shiny it is too.

As with almost everything in my life, it comes with some in-built ridiculousness. The process that is, not the kitchen itself. "Hello, I'd like one of those fitted kitchens with an inbuilt dishwasher. Oh, and it must have some built-in ridiculousness too. Thanks." Sorry, I digress.

So, whilst emptying my kitchen cupboards so that the kitchen fitter - let's call him Terry - could take them out, I managed to knock over a packet of Galaxy Mini Eggs that my brother had bought me for Easter. I picked them up again, popped them back in their box and relocated them to the living room.

A few days later, when the cupboards were fitted, I started putting food back in my cupboards. But this time I noticed that there was only one Mini Egg rattling around in its box. I'll be honest - I didn't really think about it. It crossed my mind that maybe they'd been eaten, but I think I probably assumed I'd eaten them myself and forgotten.

A day later I decided to have that last lonely Mini Egg. It was rattling round in its box all alone, so it was a kindness really. I went to the shelf... and an empty packet greeted me.

There was no way I could pass this off as forgetful eating on my part. It was clear that my kitchen fitter was - look away now if you're easily shocked - a Chocolate Thief.

I'll admit it, I was a bit annoyed, but I though to myself, "The packet was already open. You didn't leave any biscuits or anything out for him. He was probably hungry. It's not a big deal." I almost convinced myself. As a consolation I allowed myself to reach for the box of Thorntons I'd been saving for an Extra Special Chocolate occasion.

I carefully eased the ribbon from the box. I lifted the snug-fitting lid. I removed the packing on the top... and FOUR chocolates were missing from the box. They had been snaffled. I have never felt such anger. I am Laura Nunn. You do not mess with my chocolate.

The worst part was the deception - the fact he'd put the ribbon back over the lid, probably hoping I wouldn't notice. I was really, really angry. How did he know that the chocolates weren't intended for a friend's birthday?

And so a plan hatched itself, as plans are wont to do.

On his last day, I wrote Terry a note, thanking him for all his hard work... and left for him a box of Thorntons chocolates - the packing put back onto the top, the lid replaced and the ribbon carefully eased back onto the box.

Revenge, quite literally, is sweet.