Another early start. "Never mind," I said. "A nice hot shower will sort me out and I'll embrace my Friday with both vim and vigour. Never, never have vim without vigour. That would be wrong. Thinking about it, I'm not entirely sure what vim is." With this thought I realised the shower had been running for about a minute and I probably ought to jump in.
So I did.
And promptly froze my tits off. Plop, plop. That is the sound of my tits quite literally freezing off. I had no hot water. My boiler was (and this is a technical term) fucked.
Helpfully no plumbing engineer ("emergency home insurance" my freezing cold arse) could come until Saturday afternoon, so I am camping out chez Mr and Mrs Nunn whilst my kitchen fitter lets in my heating engineer.
Mr Nunn had the audacity to ask that with my personal shopper, kitchen fitter, plumber and cleaner, whether or not I actually wiped my own arse.
I paid someone to tell him to shut up.
5 comments:
Read your latest plog to The Boy who suggested that "Clink, clink" might be a more appropriate noise for your tits to make. I'm not sure I'm comfortable that my 16 year old son should be paying that much attention to your breastage area. I've diverted the topic by challenging him to spell onomatopoeia without using spellcheck.
Kate T (can't remember my Blogger password, it's been so long)
As if I would say such a thing!
BTW who have you got writing your blog at the moment?
RSN
Nice Kate, "onomatopoeia" is very easy to spell:
"Ono" as in "o no, I have to spell a hard word" then "mato" because tomatoes go "squelch" and that's onomatopoeic, and finally "poe" as in "poetry" where lots of onomatopoeia can be found. Then finally "ia". Very memorable. Ask Hazel.
Worried as to why the tits might make a "clink clink" sound. Piercings perhaps?
L x
PS Dad - Am just about to employ a very good blogger. Don't worry.
How does a fiver a week sound?
L x
Hi Laura
I remember you teaching me how to spell (AND at the same time the meaning of) On-omato-poe-ia.
Thank you :o)
Such good techniques, just like remembering "mass in moles, bum bum."
H xx
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