TMSDMTY

It is with great pleasure that I announce to you:

The Most Stressful Day in May This Year (TMSDMTY for short)

Tomorrow I am expecting to be... interesting. It has the potential to be very, very good, or more pants than a pile of stained old women's drawers.

6.30 a.m. Getting up. This is a tad earlier but no more stressful than normal. Hopefully.

7.30 a.m. Leaving the house. See above.

7.40 a.m. Getting on the tube. I hate the tube at rush hour, but with a bit of luck it might still be a bit too early to be really busy. I decided a few months ago that I shouldn't take the tube to work anymore as I had the following (genuine) thought process: "I could get on this train much more easily if I remember to bring a knife with me tomorrow..."

8.00 a.m. (Hopefully) Kitchen man will let himself into my flat and wait for my kitchen to be delivered whilst meanwhile...

8.00 a.m. I run a lovely all-day workshop, meaning I am unable to get to my phone to answer kitchen enquiries.

5.30 p.m. I flee workshop, hurtling back to Bethnal Green to...

6.00 p.m. Let myself in, notice how my entire flat is taken up with kitchen boxes (hopefully), change very, very quickly, and bomb down to help set up a gig at...

6.20 p.m. The Backyard Comedy Club. I am expecting around twenty friends to show up. This is scary because friends tend not to laugh at your jokes - they're generally either too worried you're going to make an arse of yourself, or else they're just marvelling that you're standing on stage. I am disregarding the (slim) possibility I might not be funny.

8.15 p.m. Gig kicks off.

11.00 p.m. Return home, pick my way through boxes of kitchen and grab a few hours' sleep before returning to the workshop for day two.

Wish me luck. I will let you know if I survive.