I am worried. Very, very worried.
When I first moved to Bethnal Green, I thought it was a bit rough. I'd lived in Dalston previously, mind, so I was no stranger to London's East End. However, Bethnal Green seemed excitingly full of police, rough-around-the-edge Cockneys and a lot of tatooed teenagers.
I liked it.
However, there is a worrying development. I have a nasty feeling that the area in which I live is "up and coming".
Let's look at the evidence: a Thai restauant. "Hmm," you might say. "A Thai restaurant is all well and good, but in this day and age, it's hardly unusual." Well, what if I told you it was a vegetarian Thai restaurant? Can't get much more middle class than that, can you?
Or can you? What if I told you that it was next door not only to an organic cafe... but to an organic lesbian cafe filled with dull academics talking about pretentious things?
Or even worse, that the lesbian cafe was next door to a Buddhist Centre and opposite a Southeast Asian art gallery?
The final nail in the coffin was when I went to a (non-lesbian) cafe earlier today to do some writing, and a family walked in. I could identify them from the moment they came through the door by the smell of wet dog... They were all dressed in organic fibres, the father had a beard and the mother had knitted everyone's clothes from ethically-sourced wool. They were hippies. I hoped this was a one-off, but on the short trot back to my flat, I saw no fewer than four other people of the hippy persuasion, carrying root veg and smelling of wet animal, smiling benignly at the world.
A health food shop in Bethnal Green has just started selling the Mooncup*. I rest my case. It is only a matter of time before estate agents start referring to this area as "The Green".
* This is so horrible I don't want to talk about it, but have a look here if you're not easily grossed out. http://www.mooncup.co.uk/
The whole thing makes me want to go and eat bacon and prance up and down in leather shoes. I have to go now. There is bacon to be eaten and prancing to be done.
6 comments:
Hey! What's gross about that mooncup idea?! Feminist rant, feminist rant.
I'm just imagining the practicalities of it at work... Exiting the toilet cubicle, standing at the sink, and rinsing out your Mooncup.
"Oh, Alicia. Good to see you. We've got that audio at three, haven't we? What's the project's RAG status looking like? Oh, me? I'm just rinsing out my Mooncup."
L x
That's true, I thought of that.
That is why the timing of the mooncupness will have to right. You'll be ok, you're a comedian, you're supposed to know about timing.
Hi! Are mooncups dishwasher proof?
Have you checked out the testimonials page on the mooncup website? Hilarious, especially the woman who says that a £17.99 Mooncup (TM) is cheaper than a £100 callout to Dyna-rod!
Mooncups. The best way to serve Tequila.
A little behind on your blogs this week... mooncups... never heard of them... can't see Americans ever using them, and (in the most annoying American accent possible) eeeeewwwwwwwwwww!!!!
Post a Comment