I had a gig in Stratford last night. Now, I'd never really been to Stratford (in East London) before, other than to change tube lines, so had no preconceptions. Thoughts of the River Avon, swans, Shakespeare, drifted hazily through my mind. I imagined getting to the gig a bit early, finding a spot by the picturesque canal and reading The Mill on the Floss until the gig started.
In actual fact, I got happy slapped near Burger King. Twice.
A group of about seven or eight 10 year-olds were running up behind women in the shopping centre, slapping their arses, laughing and then running off to their mates, who'd filmed the whole thing. I did consider beating the shit out of one of them, but wasn't sure I could make that stand up in a court of law. Also, they probably had a gun.
At the gig I got to meet people who were very probably the parents of these delightful youngsters. The less said about the gig the better.
The other comics, of course, found the whole happy slapping thing hysterical, and I spent most of the rest of the evening having my arse slapped by them, whilst they filmed it on their mobiles.
I have to get a better hobby.
5 comments:
Do all these things really happen to you or do you just have a vivid imagination.
Sadly, it's all true. In fact, if the blog would let me upload video, I could show you my fellow comics' mobile antics.
But then, maybe it's not such a good idea to have my arse being repeatedly slapped up on the World Wide Web. Could give the wrong impression.
Think yourself lucky your arse is getting some slap action! Some of us are now feeling a little left out! haha!!! I feel I have a perfectly slapable arse, yet no one has tried to slap it this week!
And what an arse!
Laura, i know some sites that would host that vid...
amsterspank.com is my personal fav...
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