Things like this don't normally happen to me. I'm normally so careful. I read about this sort of thing happening to other people, and I always think they're a bit stupid, and deep down - whilst I sympathise - it's their own fault.
But it's happened to me. I'm ashamed and embarrassed.
I'll just come out and say it: I have nothing planned this weekend.
Sure, sure, I was out last night - Boothie and I went to see The DaVinci Code (a much better film than book). But Saturday? And Sunday? Gaping voids in my schedule. I'm usually such a planner. If you want to see me, generally there's a four-week waiting list. (That makes me sound a bit like a dentist / hooker. Take your pick.) But this weekend is so empty, it's actually echoing.
"Never mind," I thought. "Here's my chance to be impulsive! I'll phone everyone who lives within a 100-mile radius and go and visit a friend last-minute! Jessica can help me! Great!" I started with my geographically closest friends. Busy. Phoned right up the M1 - right up to Northampton (hello Erica - no need to feel guilty. Don't worry about me). Tried the South coast - all busy. Thought about calling Hazel in New Zealand but remembered I've got an early-morning meeting on Monday and might be a bit jetlagged (and poor) if I went down that route. Besides, she's probably busy.
So, if you have my number and you're free over the next couple of days, I'm bored.
(But be warned, as my mum always says, "Only boring people get bored." Not guaranteeing we'll have fun, but at least my diary won't look quite so rubbish.)
5 comments:
I've been sitting here a little bored this afternoon myself. I actually spent at lesst an hour loading more songs on my ipod, pretty sad. Alas, Philly is a little outside the 100 mile radius! I would like nothing better than to jet over to London to hang out. Oh yeah, and I know this really cute American guy who lives in Notting Hill!
I'll make sure to schedule you well in advance when I'm in London this November!
~ Sara
Appreciate DaVinci Code was a very badly-written book. But I always say it's a bit like eating a McDonalds. You know it's bad for you, but sometimes you just can't stop yourself. You're lovin' it. And then, afterwards, you feel a bit sick, guilty and ashamed. And are hungry half an hour later.
OK, the metaphor doesn't completely work.
What is it that you and Erica have against Tom Hanks? I'm going to marry him one day, you know. At this rate no-one will come and visit.
Oh, good point. Had forgotten about Green Wing guy. (Such is the fickle nature of my love.)
OK - will have a tempestuous affair with Green Wing guy, before settling down with Tom Hanks and two labradors.
Or, more sensibly, marry Tom Hanks first then divorce him, get loads of money and THEN stalk, sorry, marry, curly Green Wing guy.
Thanks for all your marital advice, Karen.
And what happened to Hugh Grant? Or Colin Firth? Where do they fit into this "use and abuse" scheme for the men in your life?
Hazel, that is an excellent point. It poses a dilemma as I figure Tom Hanks is oldest, so will probably die first. Perhaps this means I should marry him first, wait until he snuffs it, and once I'm rich, go after the others.
BUT I'd really quite like to get to Colin Firth and Hugh Grant before their looks fade. So, I'm thinking:
Step one: Marry Tom Hanks
Step two: Have several threesomes with Colin Firth and Hugh Grant (because they're the same age).
Step three: Once Tom Hanks is dead and buried, marry the curly Green Wing guy. Possibly invite him into a foursome with Colin and Hugh.
Good. I think it's important to address life's burning issues.
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