International relations

Early this afternoon I kicked a Spanish woman in the face. I bet it happens to her a lot. She certainly took it with good grace.

The weather in New York for my last day has been utterly glorious. Pretty hot - probably about 27 degrees, maybe more in the sun. After ascending the Empire State (will upload some more photos if I have time - usual address), I wandered to Macy's and then decided to get a manicure.

It was during the manicure that Kickinggate happened.

"But how, Laura?" I would hear you ask. "What can possibly happen during a manicure with a Chinese lady that could cause you to kick a Spanish woman in the face?"

"That is a very good question," I would reply.

So the Chinese woman was doing my nails, and, being a good saleswoman, convinced me to go for the pedicure too. The dollar being so weak against the pound at the moment means that, compared with London, money isn't really an issue out here.

Now, I have never had a pedicure before. And probably never will again.

So after the manicure, they run a little bubble bath for my feet, and pop me in a nice comfy chair. The Chinese lady then hands me over to a Spanish lady. See where this is going?

The Spanish lady does something with my toenails, but then pops on some bright green minty liquid and starts rubbing my feet. I am a bit ticklish, but grin and bear it. But then she gets out her Blue Tickling Block (this may not be its actual name) and starts rubbing away at the soles of my feet. "You have nice soft feet," she says, pleasantly. The tickling becomes unbearable. I squirm in my chair.

"You are lucky to have such soft feet," says the Spanish lady, rubbing a bit more vigorously.

I nod politely, trying not to laugh at the horrendous tickling.

"You've never had a pedicure before?" asks the Spanish lady, still making foot-conversation and suddenly switching foot on me.

Reader, I kicked her in the face.

It was an accident, and I did apologise. And leave quite a big tip.

But still, why does every holiday have to end with an unfortunate incident involving someone from another ethnicity in a disturbing physical way? (See Chinese prostitute story.)