Nunnster's Millions

I am still on annual leave. And I am liking it very much. In fact, I'd go as far to say that I like it more than work. The most strenuous thing I have done all day is to return a library book, approximately six minutes' walk from where I live.

So my new plan is to become independently wealthy, although I am not sure how to achieve this. I'm thinking that a one-bedroom flat in Bethnal Green does not a multi-millionaire make. Although when I went to Turkey I was a millionaire because the Turkish currency was so rubbish, that a million Turkish Lira was about twenty pence. Anyway, I digress.

So, plans to become independently wealthy:

1. Marry (and divorce) a multi-millionaire, taking half his millions with me. This seems a tad unethical.

2. Marry a very old multi-millionaire and wait for him to die. Also not terribly ethical, and people can live a long time these days.

3. Invent a time machine, and invest in Apple, IBM or something, thus on my return to the future, I will be a multi-millionaire. To be honest, the invention of the time machine itself might result in a few extra quid. Could involve a modicum of work though in the interim, not to mention a basic understanding of Physics for which I'm not sure my "B" at GCSE is adequate.

4. Mug lots of old ladies. See drawbacks on ethics for points one and two. Besides which, I live in Bethnal Green; most old ladies here only have enough cash on them to buy their next crack fix.

5. Convince Madonna to adopt me. Will probably still have to wait for her to die though until I inherit, plus I might have to share with all the other kids. I'm not very good at sharing.

Any other suggestions gratefully received (donations also to the usual address).

In the meantime, I have one more day of annual leave. I fully intend to spend at least some of tomorrow pottering.