Letjag

I am still jetlagged. I am sluggish. Like a slug. Or maybe a snail, because I do have my own shelter.

I managed to pour toothpaste down my front earlier and have no idea how I achieved this.

I forgot to eat today until four p.m. Even then, the most sensible thing I could think of to eat was a hot cross bun. Well, two hot cross buns.

Don't try and get any sense from this Plog.

Worse - tomorrow I have to go back to work and be a high-performing and productive team member. Or, I might by some of those goggle-eye glasses and have a snooze at my desk.

I saw my friend Elinor earlier today, which was really nice. Or maybe I dreamed it. No, I did. There was coffee involved. This kept me awake for a good few minutes longer. (As did Elinor's scintillating company, obviously. I don't need to suck up, she almost always falls asleep when she's with me. Admittedly that's often when she's staying overnight, but that's not really the point.) I genuinely can't remember what happened for the rest of the day.

Why oh why oh why oh why oh why has no-one found a cure for jetlag yet? I've been back in the UK since Sunday and I still feel like - to quote a great film - a pig shat in my head.

Still, I have a minty fresh shirt, should anyone be in the market for one.