Fruit flies.
Well, not normally, not unless you throw it. OK, that was a weak joke. Cut me some slack.
I have been invaded by fruit flies. I know they're fruit flies because I looked them up on the Internet. Hundreds of the little bastards. Well, at least ten anyway. Ironic thing? I have no fruit in the house. Not even a 'nana. The situation is made worse by the fact that I refuse to kill anything. So I have made a humane fruit fly trap (as recommended by a fruit fly page on the web), luring the little nazis in with a fruit smoothie.
Cunning gits keep flying out again. I may be forced to become less humane.
I have bleached every drain, removed every plant (OK, my one plant), checked every cupboard for mouldy potatoes (yes, I'm that hungry)... I just can't work out where they're coming from. The thing that upsets me most is that we all know that flies come from maggots. Lovely.
I'm away this weekend, going to the Edinburgh Festival with Nice Kate (yay!), and just have horror film visions of opening my front door when I get home on Monday and having a giant swarm of blood-sucking fruit flies attack me.
(Although, if I come back from Scotland, an insect there could possibly be McFly. I'll get my coat.)
I wouldn't mind, but not one of the little drosophilia has offered me rent. Free-loading, fruity bastards.
6 comments:
It doesn't seem fair that you have flies when you have virtually no food in the house, whereas (knock on wood), I have no bugs in my house; which is odd considering I live with my brother, so I'm sure there is always an unseen layer of "crap" on my kitchen floor and counter tops, probably made up of beer and food bits!
Come to think of it, we're more likely to get cockroaches!!! eeeewwwwww, Now I feel sick just thinking about it!!!
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
The fruit fly - Drosophila - is beloved of school biology projects. Has Tower Hamlets snuck a school into your flat whilst you were out?
I did Biology experiements on fruit flies, we continously gased them, counted the mutations and gased them again. Maybe they're looking for revenge and are on my trail. Hide any photos of me and don't tell them where I live!
Hazel, it's too late. Your photo is proudly displayed in my living room, and now you mention it, they were congregating around that area.
Oh, and one of them had my address book open at "S". Another was on the phone booking a plane ticket. Maybe you should be worried.
L x
Never mind the fruit flies, it's the bit about mouldy potatoes that had me reaching for the bucket...
;oÞ
David.
Post a Comment